This Month In Life
  • Loving Someone with ADHD
    Psychotherapy and/or medication are used to treat ADHD, but when left untreated, ADHD can lead to problems in relationships, from marriages to friendships and beyond. Know people living with ADHD? Here’s how to love them well. Read >>
  • Light in the Lockdown
    The past few months have been strange and troubling. A new and dangerous virus that’s highly contagious is out there, and it’s affecting everyone. But if all you focus on is the bad that surrounds you, you’ll become stressed and depressed. Read >>
  • Tossing and Turning
    Remember when you’d sleep through the night and wake in the morning feeling refreshed and ready to go? Those were the good old days! If insomnia isn’t caused by a health condition, here’s some helpful advice for returning to dreamland. Read >>
  • Pools, Picnics, and Playdates during a Pandemic
    As communities open back up and summer is here, it’s confusing to know what activities are safe and which put you at risk for COVID-19. While staying home is the best way to stay physically healthy, it’s not always ideal for your mental health. For this reason, you should still enjoy summer fun while taking precautions to avoid infection. Read >>
Health and Fitness News

Loving Someone with ADHD

ADHD presents various challenges in relationships. Here’s what to expect.

Adult ADHD is characterized by impulsivity, poor concentration, an explosive temper, and hyperactivity that interfere with everyday life. Many people with the condition don’t realize they have it, even though their life has been filled with difficulties others don’t experience. Keeping a job, completing tasks, paying bills, cleaning house, keeping your mouth shut at appropriate times, being on time, and staying organized are just a few of the challenges faced by those with ADHD.

Psychotherapy and/or medication are used to treat ADHD, but when left untreated, ADHD can lead to problems in relationships, from marriages to friendships and beyond. Know people living with ADHD? Here’s how to love them well.

Understanding

Healthy relationships are based on understanding. This is particularly true of a relationship that includes ADHD. Both sides must learn to see the other’s perspective and be understanding of what life is like for the other person. The more both people know about the condition and how it affects all areas of life, the more understanding both sides will be.

The Problems

Someone with ADHD may struggle with feeling easily overwhelmed by their symptoms. As a result, they feel different, ashamed, attacked, incompetent, insecure, like a failure, unloved, or unwanted.

On the other hand, the spouse or friend of someone with ADHD may feel ignored, resentful, unappreciated, overburdened, worn out, and lonely. This person may feel like they’re the only one who can be counted on and the one holding things together.

With these underlying feelings on both sides, it’s no wonder that relationships can be difficult. It’s easy for the person without ADHD to become resentful, to complain, and become impatient, while the one with ADHD gets defensive, feels judged, and builds walls.

The Solution

So what can help? Learning to see things from the other person’s perspective is the first step. It’s easy to misinterpret the other’s words and actions. If you want a good relationship, however, both sides must be willing to listen without getting upset or defensive and without interrupting. Recognize how your words and actions hurt the other, take responsibility for your role, and be willing to change.

The person without ADHD must not nag or belittle their friend or spouse, but encourage the progress they see. Instead of trying to parent the other person, value their strengths and good intentions. Be kind, patient, and compassionate.

If you have ADHD, you’ve got to acknowledge you have problems that are negatively affecting your relationships and be willing to get treatment to manage the symptoms. Do what you can to make your friend or spouse feel loved and valued. Take responsibility for your actions and work towards healthy habits.

There’s Hope

It is possible to have a loving and fulfilling relationship with someone with ADHD.

All relationships take work, give and take, and commitment. Identify the weaknesses or trouble spots in your relationship and work towards positive change. If one of you struggles with housekeeping or managing the finances, then make it the other’s responsibility or hire someone to help out. Divide up the chores and responsibilities based on personal strengths so one person doesn’t feel burdened or overwhelmed.

Structure is good for everyone, especially those with ADHD. As much as possible, the family should aim to keep a routine for sleep, meals, and exercise. Do your part to keep your home free of clutter. A messy home only exacerbates symptoms of ADHD. Use reminders on your phone or around your house to help keep eachother on task.

Above all, recognize that ADHD doesn’t have to define you or ruin your relationships. With some work, you can enjoy a fruitful and fun relationship, despite the presence of ADHD.